I know! I was just as amazed and frightened as you are.
This isn't just any monster either. Oh no, not for me, I just don't roll that way. You see if I had a vampire it would be easy...garlic, holy water, sunshine, a stake in the heart...no problem. Or maybe a nice werewolf...hello, this is Texas, guns are everywhere and surely a silver bullet could be found. A monster under the bed? That's easy. I'd just show them what's under Brookie's bed and they'd so be running for their lives.
But could my monster be something that simple?? Nooooo. Instead of a run of the mill one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater I end up with some freaky monster with what must be half a dozen butts! Seriously people, A BUTT MONSTER.
I'd show you a picture of the beast, but I haven't actually seen it yet. But that matters not, because it is so living in my house and I have proof! Behold the evidence....
This toilet paper roll was full this morning. FULL. But look at it now. It's empty. EMPTY. Scary no? And if that freaks you out wait 'til you see this...
All of these toilet paper rolls are fresh out of the trash in one of our bathrooms (yes, just one of them). This very trash was emptied less than a week ago and now it is filled with all of these emptied toilet paper rolls (and we were out of town half the week!). It's okay. Don't panic. Take a deep breath. I was frightened too, but things will be okay. I will find this horrifying butt monster and I will conquer him.
But first I have to wait for him to get home from the basketball game.
8 comments:
Your kids didn't discover the trick where if you put a wad of paper still attached to the roll in the toilet it will suck a bunch of the paper down the toilet, did they?
OOOOOOH NOOOOOOOO. That is scary! I hope your kids don't read marty's comment. :) sounds like fun.
Marty- Well they didn't know it 'til you spoke up. Thanks ever so much.
Sharon- too late. Lauren found it. Sigh. I owe Mr. Marty Pants.
LOL thats hilarious!
Funnyfunnyfunny. Imagine if you had two male monsters and 3 bathrooms. It's toilet monster hell at my house. And have you ever felt like you are the only person who can remove the empty rolls from the roller and dispose of them properly? Because that is how it is at my house.
I thought there was a 3 square rule at school & therefore at home. Did I just make that up or did I really hear that?
Andi- I haven't heard that rule. Well, they had it back when I was in high school, but that was like forever and two years ago.
And YES I am the only person in my house that can change out the toilet paper. I swear every time I sit down to potty (aka...to hide from my kids in the bathroom) there is no paper. It's nuts!!
Hilarious! My issue is with my daughter and the pantyliners and pads. I will have to dig up that pic and post it. She was being WAY too quiet and I should have suspected something. Unfortunately, I was enjoying the silence long enough for her to put every pad and liner she could get her grubby little hands on IN the toilet. Luckily this was before she could flush!
LET/MAKE your monster/aka basketball administrator read this email and the monster may disappear!
As always, enjoying the blog!
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