Batting a thousand

Is this day over yet? Please say yes. Lie to me. It's okay. It's one of those permissible lies of kindness, like when your dad lied to your mom when she asked if her pants made her butt look big and he looked her straight in the eye and said no.

Oh I kid. Don't lie. It isn't nice and I really don't need your tainted soul added to my list of transgressions today. I've been doing enough damage all by myself.

When Lauren woke up this morning she was SUCH a grump-a-saurus. Seriously, it was awful. She looked downright mean and the way she was acting caught me off guard. She is really such a pleasant child who rarely acts in a negative manner. And this was definitely negative. In fact after no more than ten minutes of it I told her she must have some major PMS going on and then I asked her dad if it was possible to beat the PMS outta someone. She knew I'd never beat her, but she also knew I was not going to let her act like that. I gave her a very stern lecture (which really didn't improve her mood any...duh) and told her to suck it up.

It wasn't until much, much later....like seven hours later...that she reminds me that she is out of one of her meds. She had told me three days before she needed a refill and I was having such an awful day that it went right out of my head. As soon as she told me she still needed it I groaned as I realized what had been going on. This drug can't be missed and if it is the effects of it will become rapidly apparent in horrible mood swings.

Crapola-on-a-stick.

It was MY fault. Her awful mood was all my fault and I was the one that needed to be beat. By the time we figured out what was amiss it was too late to get a refill so she has to go all day tomorrow without it too. I wonder if I should warn her teachers??

While I was on the PMS accusatory train I told Dave he had PMS too. He ignored me and kept grouching about whatever it was he was grounching about. I warned him that he better get happy in his pants or I'd do something about it.

He never listens.

I had to panse him (is that what they call it when you run up behind someone and pull their pants down to their ankles??). He just laughed and then tickled me til I peed my pants a little (gosh I hate that).

That only left Brookie unharmed, but of course I managed to fix that. When I was washing her hair she said, "Ouch, your nails are scratching my scallop." Well I couldn't help it. I giggled. Then I told her the word was scalp.

She burst into tears and told me to stop making fun of her.

I swear I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I love it when she mixes words up. It is adorable and reminds me of my dad (and myself). I guess I was just full of mother grace and charm today.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go pull the covers over my head and wait for a new day and a another fresh start.