My Daughter Is a Superhero

So yesterday was Lauren's nuclear bone scan. Yes, I said nuclear. As in they injected radioactive material into her vein. This is serious stuff ya'll. Nurse Button (I call her that because she really was cute as a button) made sure we understood just how serious it was by giving us a very strict set of rules to follow while we were out and about after the radioactive injection.

1. Do not hug anyone.

2. Do not stand near expectant mothers.

3. Do not leave tinkle on the toilet seat (she said urine, but for some reason I really dislike that word).

4. Do not spit on anyone.

5. Do not hold infants or small children.


By the time rule number three was recited Lauren was pretending to shoot Spidey webs at me when Nurse Button wasn't looking and I was giggling behind my hand like a school girl. Clearly we understood the gravity of the situation. In fact, our grasp of the serious nature of these rules was so apparent that Nurse Button felt it necessary to repeat the rules to us THREE TIMES before turning us loose on an unprotected and unsuspecting world.

Within minutes we realized the potential for greatness from this radioactivity. It was raining and sleeting out when we left the hospital the first time and Lauren climbed into the Suburban and put on her seat belt. Then she looked at me and said, "Mom, I think my super powers are already kicking in. I just got into the car without falling."

Ya'll don't know how amazing this is. What you have to understand is that she usually slips or stumbles even on a clear, rain-free day when climbing into the Suburban on account of something she inherited from me that I like to call shortness. Then we left Hobby Lobby and she got into the car AGAIN without falling and then AGAIN at On the Border (where she ate refried beans and then proceeded to produce radioactive farts).

That is THREE times that my daughter climbed into the Suburban with nary a stumble. This was huge. She was now able to enter vehicles in a single bound. Clearly she was a superhero with radioactive powers. Could a Mama be any prouder?? I felt it was my duty as a parent to a impart some superhero wisdom upon her. I explained that with power came responsibility. I also cautioned her to use her new powers for good instead of evil. She listened and nodded her head with understanding as I bestowed my wisdom upon her. She always has been a mature and responsible child. I knew I had nothing to worry about.

And then she told me that she couldn't wait to get home and tell her sister that she'd better stay out of her room or she'd spit on her with radioactive spit.

Okay, so maybe she isn't quite ready for the responsibilities of a superhero just yet. I guess my work as a parent is not yet done (and I have to say I am glad).

In all seriousness we should get the results for the MRI of her brain and the Bone Scan next week. I'll be sure and let ya'll know what we find out and in the meantime we continue to covet your prayers. She is actually in quite a bit of pain (popping advil like they are candy), but rarely complains (to anyone but her parents and Mumsie). She may not be a superhero to anyone else, but she is a superhero to me.