My next purchase will be earplugs

It has recently come to my attention that I am old. Now don't ask me when this happened because I have no idea. I am as shocked as you are! I was just going through life, minding my own business, feeling footloose and fancy free and then WHAM!...out of the clear blue I am old.



I am always the last to know.


I guess I was well on my way to becoming the next Aunt Vi. I don't think anyone ever told that woman that she was old and she went through life acting like a perpetual 21 year old on spring break. For example, there was the time my cousin Tim took her to a Ranger's game and halfway through the game she stands up, pulls her top up and flashes the stadium her bare boobage. She had to be about 90 years old at the time. Tim said her boobs were hanging down to her belly button, but she didn't care. She just gave them a shake, sat back down and calmly said, "I've always wanted to do that."

Luckily, I was saved from becoming the next grandma flasher by stumbling upon a civic center FULL of loud and rowdy teens who were more than happy to point out my ancientness to me. Well I didn't exactly stumble...I drove there on purpose to take Lauren and her friends to see this band:







Yes, you read correctly. I drove a suburban full of teens to see this PUNK BAND in concert ON PURPOSE. Apparently I am not only old, but I am stupid as well.

Once again, I am always the last to know.

The first clue pointing toward the fact that I am old was my reaction to the pierced lips of the band members. Instead of saying, 'Oh my gosh that is so freakin' awesome!' all I could say was, "Ouch. That had to hurt" and then I wondered how they ate corn on the cob.

Clearly I am no party animal (and if I were I'd be like a party tortoise).


Then there is the fact that I was wishing I had some stylish ear muffs to help block out the extreme LOUDNESS before the first song was over. And when the strobe lights came on instead of screaming hysterically with all the girls around me all I wanted to do was go pull the lead singer by the ear and tell him that strobe lights can cause seizures in people in epilepsy and then lecture him on being a responsible entertainer (if there is such a thing).I won't even get started on the smoke and the 'mosh pit' atmosphere created by the teen boys around us.

The craziness, it did abound. I am pretty sure I was the only one there over the age of 18. I am surprised they let me inside the front doors, but they did. In reality we all had a pretty good time. I actually like the punk (christian) band we went to see, it was just the volume that I had a problem with. I think that will be my last rock concert for a while.


But is anyone up for a Ranger's game? There is something I've always wanted to do...