Teacher Tales

When we got home from Wichita the other day we found a package of baby bottles in one of our Walmart bags. None of us picked them up and we had no idea where they came from. Maybe it's a sign from above. I certainly hope not. If God thinks I am going to have another baby He is barking up the wrong uterus. We are done. D. O. N. E.

I might have to delete that last statement. I don't want to be struck down by lightening for being flippant with God...or worse, struck down with triplets.


I was kidding anyway, more children would not upset me. It's Dave that would freak (hear that God? Strike HIM down with triplets, not me. Spread the saggage around. He'd look great with saggy man-boobs).

As for me, I adore children. They make me laugh. Just this week there was a picture of a hamster in a book at school and this little girl said, "That's where my uncle lives, New Hamster."

Get it? New HAMSTER. Only she wasn't kidding and how can you not love that? I still smile every time I think about it.

And then there was this sweet little fourth grader that I tutored in math over the summer. I worked with her quite a bit this school year as well. She is such a doll and she was worrying herself sick over the Math TAKS test. So yesterday I took a necklace that a good friend gave me for my birthday to school with me.

Here is a picture of it:

That little dot in the middle is a mustard seed. Well, I pulled her from class before the test and told her the Bible said that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. I told her I wanted her to wear the necklace during the test and that when she started doubting herself she was to rub it to remind herself to have faith!

Her mom told me that later that day she said that the test was really hard and that she kept rubbing and rubbing my necklace, but that God never did tell her a single answer! I guess I failed at explaining the purpose of the necklace!

I could tell stories like this all day long. I am so blessed to have a job that lets me work with such amazing children all day long. Then I get to come home to two amazing girls of my own!

Just think of the fun I'll have after Dave has the triplets!

Sleepless in Texas

Boy howdy, being a mom can plum tucker a gal out! Brookie got sick Friday evening and by the middle of Saturday night she was really sick. The night was filled with much tossing and turning and screaming and crying and whining about not being able to sleep.

And then after I told Dave to go sleep in another room, there was still Brookie to deal with.

Oh I'm kidding. Dave didn't scream.

Much.

Finally on Sunday we decided to take Brookie to the ER. That is something I never do. I'm not one of those moms that runs off to the ER every time one of the kids sneezes or wheezes. I was really worried about Brookie though. She cried and writhed around for almost five hours during the night Saturday night holding her stomach like a porcupine was fighting it's way out of her belly button. Plus she hadn't kept a bit of food or drink down for 48 hours.

It turns out she just has a nasty virus. Praise God it wasn't something serious! Unfortunately there was still a high level of protein in her urine, but we already knew about that and we are getting it checked out with a specialist on May 5 in Dallas. So we are back home and she is still feeling poorly, but hopefully she will be well by morning.

I have even more to praise God about. Dr. Ludlam called Friday and told us that Lauren would be coming out to Seattle the week of May 19. She will be staying at the hospital five nights and will have a whole host of tests run. We are very hopeful that they'll find all that they need to refer her for surgery. Maybe by the end of the summer she'll be all better. Man that would be great!

You hear that God? We'd like Lauren better by the end of the summer. That's THIS summer. The summer of 2008.

That would be great. Thanks God.

(I'll be sure and pray that prayer, just in case God doesn't read my blog). (But I totally know He does.)

Apparently what's good for the farms, ain't so good for me

Last night the girls and I decorated the teacher's lounge for a little baby shower for our sweet school nurse. As we were leaving the school I opened the door and was greeted with the refreshing smell of recent rain. I smiled and said, "Oh yay! It rained. That is good news for the farmers." Brookie stopped walking, looked up at me, and said, "yeah, but it's not so good for your hair."

You can see what the priorities are in my household.

1. Mom's hair
2. Rain to nourish the crops
3. World hunger

Right. As long as my hair stays up there at number one we are doing A-OK.

Speaking of my hair, yesterday in a fourth grade reading group I had the children writing facts and opinions on dry erase boards. I told them to write a fact about me. One sweet little girl wrote, "Mrs. S has blonde hair," and then she wrote in parenthesis, "No offense." No offense??? Me thinks perhaps I should have been offended, but I am not sure why.

I guess I am just too blonde to figure it out.

And now that my hair and it's blonde attributes have been thoroughly covered (I know ya'll were all on the edge of your chairs reading that exciting stuff) I will give you a quick update on me and my world.

Because, you know, we've already established it's all about me (and good hair days).

Before I dive into the scoop about Lauren let me give a shout out to Brookie who couldn't be left out of the fun here at Camp Stress Mom Out. She hasn't been feeling so great for the past few weeks. It has never been anything really specific. She just says, "Mom, I don't feel good." When I ask what's wrong I get something like, "I just feel funny." Yeah. Doctors are great a diagnosing that. I pretty much chalked it up to needing a little of the attention we were dishing out to Lauren and loved on her and then went on my way. Well, about a week ago she got a little more specific and mentioned it burned when she went to the bathroom. I decided to run her by the clinic. If nothing else at least she'd know I cared. I think she was getting annoyed that I hadn't rushed her off to the doctor and I'd taken Lauren approximately 1,993,204 times.

So I took her in and they did a quick urinalysis for me and although she didn't have a bladder infection, she did have protein in her urine. No big deal, just come back in a week and do it again. We went back in a week (that was yesterday) and there it was again, protein. Suddenly it was a big deal. We go to a pediatric urologist on May 5. I'm sure it's nothing, but I am a little freaked out by it because that is just how I roll. I freak.

Let the freak times roll.

As for Lauren, well, it's a long story. She is going to go to Seattle to see Dr. Ludlam. He is a really well known endocrinologist that specializes in Complex Cushings. People come from all over the world to see him. We had a phone consult with him last week and I sent an email ahead of time showing pictures of Lauren's stretch marks, hump and red face (during a spell). I also sent some test results, a medical history time-line and a list of symptoms. He told me on the phone that he already thinks she has Cushings, he is just going to help us prove it so we can get her better. I'm all for getting that child better. She's been through enough.

So basically we'll go to Seattle for a week. She'll stay at the hospital there. They put in a picc line (or however it's spelled) and run a whole heck of a lot of tests. Then we come home and run a heck of a lot more. This is a very difficult disease to diagnose.

I'll let you all know when we are going as soon as I know. They are working on the logistics and will call as soon as things are set up.

Gotta finish getting ready for work now.

Peace, love and good hair days to you all.

n = embarrassment squared

As I was sitting there trying to help Lauren with her math (I say trying because Math is not my forte) I had a Math flashback...

It was my senior year in College and the only class all the way through four years of higher learning that gave me the least bit of trouble was college Algebra...and boy howdy did it ever give me trouble! In fact it was so difficult for me that I had to hire a tutor. The sad thing is that this tutor was a Sophomore in high school.

Yeah, I know...when it comes to math I am a few fries short of a happy meal.

And Happy Meals were exactly what I was afraid I'd be serving for a living if I didn't get help. That's what drove me to ask a mere 15 year old to help me with my course. His name was Lanny and his mom was my partner teacher that year. Lanny was tall, lanky, pimply and very shy. Looking back I feel sorry for the boy for having to spend so many afternoons explaining over and over again why N could equal Q and P could equal coocklydoodlydoo (as you can see the finer points of what Lanny taught me have stuck with me lo these many years).

This particular math flashback (what? Don't try and pretend that you don't have mathematical flashbacks) (it's not like I am weird or something) took place on a Saturday afternoon at my house. Lauren was about three and Dave must have been at a track meet or something because he wasn't home. We were over two hours into the studying (on a lesson that I am sure should have taken about ten minutes, but like I told you people, I am missing fries!) when Lauren walked into the room.

She was the cutest little tyke back then...all chubby cheeks and curly hair...and as always she was being perfect and wonderful...we barely knew she was around. That is why I didn't pay much attention when she walked up behind us at the table. I knew she was dragging something behind her, but I didn't bother to turn around and see what it was. After a few moments of being ignored she finally spoke up and said in her adorable toddler voice, "Mommy I haff somfin that you need."

Since I was in the middle of wrestling a big bear in the form of a math problem I didn't even look back at her. I just held out my hand and as soon as she placed something in my palm I said, "thank you baby." And then I placed the something on the table.

And then I looked at the something.

And then I almost died of embarrassment right there on the spot.

The 'something' she had been dragging around was a whole bunch of condoms still together in a row. And there they were on my table between me and a 15 year old kid!

I jumped up and grabbed those suckers and flew to my bedroom at warp speed to put them away. Then I came out and stammered a few dozen apologies to Lanny, who was suddenly beet red and wouldn't look me in the eye anymore.

I did go on to pass that math class and Lanny never even mentioned the incident to his mom (although I did). I suppose he was probably too embarrassed.

Now it's ten years later and the tables have turned. Suddenly I am the embarrassing one and Lauren is the one that has to worry about what I will do and say around her friends.

I must say, I am liking this much better than Algebra. Now if we only still used condoms I could REALLY embarrass her!

The banjo wasn't the only thing we picked

Hey internets, meet my cousins! This is the gang one Christmas. We are at my Granny's and we are all looking at someone...if I had to guess it is my Aunt Sharon. She is usually the one doing the bossing. That is me in the dark blue dress (looked real happy didn't I?). The little blonde kinda in front of me is my sister Shanna. Wasn't she adorable? And next to her is my cousin Jackie (in the glasses). You might read her blog MomMom's Rant.

When I first posted this picture I was planning on poking fun at the high number of my cousins who have their fingers in their noses (hi Del!) or in their mouths. But then I noticed where MY hands were and I thought maybe I should keep my mouth shut.

Geez I look like a porn star in the making!

Of course when I saw this next picture and the furniture my poor parents were forced to sit upon I can almost understand what drove me to the life of a young porn star. They needed help! I must have been desperate to save them from the hideousness. I can almost hear the banjo playing in the background, can't you??

This is me, Shanna (the baby) and Chad.

More Lauren

She amazes me. I am SO incredibly blessed to have her for a daughter. She is suffering in ways right now that I can't even begin to describe (and that she'd rather keep private) and yet she still finds beauty in the world around her.

She told me tonight that if she was on American Idol she would sing a song that told the world how great God is and for a moment I was ashamed at my own lack of faith. She is the one suffering and yet her faith is stronger than mine. Her favorite song is 'Praise You In This Storm' by Casting Crowns. The ability to praise God even in the midst of tribulation is a powerful thing. She is wise beyond her years. She always has been.

Now if only I can be as mature as my 13 year old...

Giving to the Max

She was a tall, big boned girl with masses of pitch black frizzy curls that framed her dirty face in an unkempt fashion. The combination of her pale skin and the trail of freckles across her nose hinted that her hair's midnight hue was by choice rather than by birth. Her clothes were usually ill-fitting and her scent brought to mind dusty attics filled with mice and mothballs. She was always alone and made sure she stayed that way with excentracies like picking lice from her hair in class and talking to herself as she walked through the high school corridors.

Her name was Mary, but everyone called her Scary Mary. She endured four years of teasing, taunting and pranks in my high school and never once acted like she cared or even noticed. I noticed though and it really bothered me. I tried to be nice to her, but she was like an island unto herself and I was an unwanted bridge to the world of adolescent chaos around her. She basically ignored my attempts at friendship the same way she ignored the cruelty of the other students. I never really stopped trying though. I would sit behind her in homemaking class (praying that I didn't get lice) while everyone else sat on the other side of the room. I would speak to her in the hall and occasionally asked her to join me at lunch. She never really responded to me, but I felt better for at least trying.

At some point in the midst of our journey through the world of high school dramatics a boy by the name of Matt broke my heart (or so I thought at the time). Shortly after I was seen crying over a hateful note he wrote me in Biology class, a sign showed up on Matt's locker. I won't repeat what it said here, because it wasn't nice, but Matt was furious with me and accused me of leaving the sign. I assured him I didn't do it, but he did not believe me. That sign was just the first of many and I was as baffled as he was as to who the culprit could be.

It wasn't until my Senior year when I asked Mary to sign my yearbook that I found out what really happened. I remember being shocked that she actually agreed to sign my yearbook and even more shocked at what she wrote inside. She said that I was the only friend she'd ever had and that if it had not been for me being nice to her she wouldn't have been able to make it through school. She then went on to tell me she was the one who had left all those signs on Matt's locker and that she did it to make him pay for making me cry.

I learned a big lesson from Mary that day. Actually the lesson came from my parents who always taught us to treat others the way we would want to be treated, but Mary really reinforced that lesson when she left me that note in my yearbook. I had no idea that my small acts of kindness (I really should have done more) had made such an impact on her life. It really helped me to see that even something as simple as a smile or a hello could help brighten someone's day or maybe even do more than that...maybe even give them a reason to keep trudging through the difficulties they faced in life.

That was fifteen years ago and this week at school I was reminded of Mary and the lesson she helped me learn all those years ago. Any teacher will tell you that there are children that get on our nerves. I wish I could say that we adore every minute that we spend with each and every one of them, but that would be a lie. I am not saying that we don't love them all. I know I do, but there are a few of them that really try my patience.

One such child is a first grader that we'll call Max. Max flat out wears me out. I have him only thirty minutes a day for a reading group and they are thirty of the longest minutes in my day. I find myself saying things like...

Max sit down.

Max stop touching her.

Max sit down.

Max put that up.

Max please follow along.

Max sit down.

Max do not put your boogers on my table.

Max do not put that booger back in your nose!

Max sit down.

Max.

Max.

Max.

I work with over fifty children so there is more than one Max in my life. I can honestly say that I always try to remain patient and loving with all the Maxes in my classes (try being the magic word). I may be dying to pull my hair out on the inside and longing for the wooden spoon that has warmed my own girl's backsides, but I do not let it show (too much). I have had to be very firm with Max (and those like him) on more than one occasion, but I do try to make sure they understand that I am doing it because I love them and I want what is best for them.

This past Friday I was walking down the hall when Max ran up and threw his arms around my legs. Then he looked up at me and said, "I am going to miss you sooooo much!" My first thought was that he was moving so I said, "Oh no, where are you going Max?" He just looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "I'm not going anywhere. It's the weekend. I hate the weekends because I don't get to see you and I miss you." My heart melted. I hugged him back and told him I would miss him too.

As I watched him walk away I was reminded of Mary. There are so many kids like Mary and Max in the world. They don't quite fit into the mold of 'normalcy' that we have been conditioned to expect, but that doesn't mean that don't need love and acceptance just as much as the rest of us. In fact, I am quite certain that many times they need it even more.

I am grateful to Max for reminding me that my actions can make a difference. On any given day my smile may be the only smile directed a child's way...my arms may be the only arms to hug them...my ears may be the only ears to really stop and listen to what they have to say...my heart may be the only heart to love them.

There are more important things than teaching someone to read.

I thank God for allowing me to help teach (and learn) those lessons.

Lauren

Some of you have been asking me how Lauren is doing and where things stand. The answer is I don't know really. After we went to Dallas our endo was fairly certain Lauren's tumor was back and her pituitary had gone haywire. I talked to him on the phone yesterday for a long time and he seems to still think that is the case, only the tumor can't be seen on the MRI (yet). It is probably there and just isn't visible yet. He said a very small regrowth could cause major problems with her endocrine system since the pituitary controls all the hormones. So the bottom line is that he needs a lot more tests. We will be starting those next week.

We are also considering taking her to MD Anderson in Houston this summer and letting them sort things out there. I personally think he was right about the Cushings Disease and about the tumor being back, but now we just have to find it and prove it via all these tests.

In case a google search leads someone here that has some insight about Cushings or pituitary issues here is a list of Lauren's symptoms:

spells where she feels very 'shaky' inside

tachycardia (during spells)

high blood pressure (during spells)

bright red cheeks (during spells)

headaches

fatigue

muscle weakness

muscle pain (the least little activity leaves her in pain for days)

bone pain (and early signs of vertebrae degeneration on bone scan)

precocious puberty (started puberty at age five)

weight gain

dark purple stretch marks on stomach (and now starting across her back)

anxiety attacks (having a BIG problem with this right now)

forgetfulness

starting to get hair on her face (this just started)

hair is starting to fall out (she has great hair...this is new too)

frequent dizzy spells

she does have the very round face and the 'buffalo hump' that is described in Cushing's patients too (only her Cortisol level was in the normal range on the last urine test so she either doesn't have it or it's cyclic...we think it's cyclic)

At times she has really dark, dark rusty looking areas on her knees and elbows. Those are gone right now.

I am sure there is more, but you get the general idea about what is going on here. As things develop I will let you guys know what's up. As always, thanks for the prayers!

And just because I am proud of her and like showing her off, here are a few of Lauren's recent photographs:

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I took Brookie and her friend 'C' to see High School Musical on ice last night. We ended up with front row seats on the floor (don't ask me how, I didn't even get tickets until two days before the show). They had a really good time watching the show and I had a really good time watching them enjoy themselves. I also had a really good time listening to them talk. Here are a few snippets from their conversations:

The elaborate plan for a first kiss...

C: Here is my plan. I will take him to a Chinese restaurant that looks like we are really China. Then I will lean down and I will tell him I have a secret. But only the trick is, I won't really have one. Then when he leans close to me to hear my fake secret I am going to kiss him right on his cheek. And then I am going to be the happiest girl alive.

On having children...

C: I think we should move in together when we grow up because we can't marry anybody.

B: Why can't we?

C: Because if we get married we will have to have babies and I want to avoid that whole baby making thing.

B Why?

C: Because it's gross, that's why. And if I did get married I would tell him right off that we won't be doing that so just back off mister.

B: Doing what?

C: Making babies. You aren't listening to a word I say are you? Anyway, where do you want to live?

B: By Sea World.

C: Fine. We will live in San Francisco.

B: I think you mean San Antonio.

C: Whatever. And I could have all the cats I want and you could have all the dogs you want. And when they had babies there would be no mean mom and dad to tell us to give them away because we could do anything we want. Either that or we could live in Hollywood, New York. That would be cool too.

On screaming at the top of your lungs...

C: Wow that felt good!

Me: What did?

C: Screaming. They never let me do that at home.


On Half-Naked Men...

Me: What was your favorite part?

C: I liked all the parts with Troy and Gabriela.

Me: Me too. What about you Brookie?

B: Well...ummm...don't be mad, but my favorite part was the part where Troy took his shirt off.

Me: You said you didn't like this Troy because he wasn't as cute as the one on the movie.

B: That was before he took his shirt off.

Me: Oh.

Me again a few moments later: Hey Brookie?

B: What?

Me: You can't date 'til you are ninety.

My New Bestest Friend Forever

The coolest thing happened the other day. I went to pick up some high school boys for dyslexia retraining and the substitute wouldn't let them leave with me. And do you know why she wouldn't let them leave? Do you??? I hope not because I am dying to tell you!

SHE THOUGHT I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT!

No really, she did. You can stop laughing now.

She actually thought I was a teenager! Sure she was old as Moses and wore glasses, but she did think I was a student. She apologized later and told me she had to go check and see if my story was true because I just didn't look old enough to be a teacher.

When she said that she officially became my BFF! Now if you'll excuse me I am going to see if she wants to go shopping later. I totally need some Clearasil and one of those new push up bras all the other teens are wearing and I am thinking that she might need something too...

like new GLASSES!