Monday, January 28, 2008

Sisterly Love

Hello interpeeps! Did you miss me? I missed you. I've been in bed for a few days feeling so bad that I didn't even feel like checking in with my blog buddies. You know it must have been BAD if it kept me away from here, cause I love you people like a fat kid loves cake (and that's sayin' a lot).

I finally pulled my miserable self out of bed earlier today and walked through the house. That was a big mistake. I promptly screamed and ran back to bed and hid under the covers. You should have seen the place! Cave yourself up in your room for a few days and a renegade band of outlaw tornadoes bust in and destroy the place. Either that or my kids made the mess. The investigation is still underway.

While I was helping the CSI team look for evidence I came across a bunch of wadded up paper towels in both of the girl's rooms. Upon closer inspection I discovered that the paper towels contained messages. Apparently the girls were throwing notes back and forth to each other across the hall. I thought I'd share a few of the notes. Get your tissue ready and behold my daughters' idea of sisterly love.


From Brookie (age 7) to Lauren (age 13)

Love you some. You can get all on my nerves, but still I love you. but I think of you in my head sometimes and it is not good.


Love you,

Brooke





From Lauren to Brookie


Well me too, but sometimes I just want to slap you in your face, but I don't because I love you.

Love you!
Lauren





Makes a mama proud.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

May I have a redo?

Lauren had to be at school at 7:50 this morning to catch the bus for a basketball tournament. I got up. I woke her up. She got ready. I got ready (by getting ready I mean putting a jacket over my pjs). I went to get my keys. My keys weren't there. I freaked.

I lost my keys!

I never lose my keys. I have lost my shopping list, my mind and even my boobs ability to defy gravity, but not my keys. I was frantic. I didn't want to her miss the bus and get in trouble. I dumped the contents of my purse out all over the table, looked all around the house and finally found them in the car.

We rushed to the school just in time to see the bus driving by a block away. We sat there a moment and tried to decide what to do. I was worried that she would get in trouble if she didn't go to the basketball tournament (she doesn't play, she's just a manager), but I still feared a punishment if she didn't honor a commitment. She was worried about her co-manager having to go to the tournament alone. So we decided she should go. There was a tiny problem though. The tournament was over an hour away and the bus was gone. There was only one thing we could do.

We chased the bus.

We finally caught up with them several miles down the highway (after driving way too fast) and Lauren leaned out the window and waved them down as we drove up beside them.

It was like one of those mommy nightmares...no make-up...in pajamas...hair doing a classy tumbleweed impersonation and letting my child out on the side of the highway while thirty teens looked on.

She had to be so proud. Now if you'll excuse me I need to buy her something cool enough that it will make up for humiliating her.

Do they sell ponies on ebay?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Moo-tivational Teaching

"Hey mom, I found a gold penny under my bed! Isn't this Sacagewea on the front?"

I turned away from the hated dishwater whose goal in life is to wreak havoc on my hands and looked at my seven year old, the youngest contributor to the never ending pile of dishes that find their way to my sink on a daily basis. She was holding a gold dollar.

"Sachaja-who-ha?" I asked, earning an immediate frown of disgust.

"Sacagewea...you know...Luis and Clark..." The 'duh' was unspoken, but so very evident in her tone.

"Oh yeah. Right. Sacagewea," I said, vaguely remembering something about her hooking up with Robin Williams in 'Night at the Museum'. I looked at the coin and pretended to study it carefully. It was an Indian alright and that was about all I knew.

"I think it might be sugar, but I'm not 100% positive," I said trying to sound confident ( I was more like .000003% sure).

"Then let's look it up," she said. So we did.

I am madly in love with google. If Dave ever tires of my redneck ways and leaves me for some sophisticated woman with a matching set of dishes I am running away with google and we are going to make our own gaggle of googlets.


I am so weird (like you needed that spelled out for you).

Anyway, she was right. See?


She is officially smarter than me. She has a second grade education and she is smarter than I am. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

While we googled facts and learned a few new things together I enjoyed observing her thirst for knowledge. I am so happy that she has an internal motivation to learn. That is becoming increasingly rare. It seems the days when knowledge in and of itself was all the reward a child needed for motivation to learn are slipping away without anyone noticing that they are making an exit. That seriously worries me.

I have often thought to myself that motivating children to learn is the biggest part of my job. I have done so many things to motivate them. I have had parties and dances and given fun rewards. I have dressed up...oh my have I dressed up...for one reason or another through my eleven years as a teacher. I've been Sandy (from Grease) and sang and preformed on stage. I've been a nun (like in Sister Act), again preforming for the children at our school. I've been Baby Spice (don't ask). I've been a monster from under the bed....a mouse...a lion and a clown (the non scary version.).

I've even been a cow...a pregnant cow at that. And not just any cow. I was a cool cow from Kalamazoo. No really I was. Look...

Clearly I have no shame.



The point is that I've done all that and more to motivate students, but really there was something behind all the crazy things I did that motivated them more than anything else.

Love.

I've loved every single one of my students and made sure they knew that I loved them. It is a great motivator and is the best secret I know to being a successful teacher. So while I worry about their lack of internal motivation all I know to do is to keep on loving them, keep on teaching them and keep on praying for them.


God will take care of the rest.


(He really rocks at this love thing too.)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

You Might Be a Redneck If...


1. A midweek dinner includes biscuits, chicken fried steak, corn, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese AND gravy.


2. There is food being served in a pan on the table.


3. There are two foods being served in pans on the table.


4. Your plates do not match.


5. Your daughter is fixin' her plate before anyone else gets to the table.


6. You say fixin' on your redneck list.


7. Your napkins are paper.


8. Your napkins (that are paper) are thrown haphazardly on the plates (that don't match) with a fork and your oldest child calls this setting the table.


9. Someone's water is still in the bottle instead of in a glass.
10. Probably because you don't have enough matching glasses to set the table.

11. The butter is in a tub.


12. There is camo gear thrown over a chair during the entire meal.


13. You have no qualms about posting a picture displaying your redneckness to the world (a.k.a. the 17 people that read your blog).


14. I didn't want to end on thirteen.


15. You are too superstitious to end your redneck list on thirteen.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Batting a thousand

Is this day over yet? Please say yes. Lie to me. It's okay. It's one of those permissible lies of kindness, like when your dad lied to your mom when she asked if her pants made her butt look big and he looked her straight in the eye and said no.

Oh I kid. Don't lie. It isn't nice and I really don't need your tainted soul added to my list of transgressions today. I've been doing enough damage all by myself.

When Lauren woke up this morning she was SUCH a grump-a-saurus. Seriously, it was awful. She looked downright mean and the way she was acting caught me off guard. She is really such a pleasant child who rarely acts in a negative manner. And this was definitely negative. In fact after no more than ten minutes of it I told her she must have some major PMS going on and then I asked her dad if it was possible to beat the PMS outta someone. She knew I'd never beat her, but she also knew I was not going to let her act like that. I gave her a very stern lecture (which really didn't improve her mood any...duh) and told her to suck it up.

It wasn't until much, much later....like seven hours later...that she reminds me that she is out of one of her meds. She had told me three days before she needed a refill and I was having such an awful day that it went right out of my head. As soon as she told me she still needed it I groaned as I realized what had been going on. This drug can't be missed and if it is the effects of it will become rapidly apparent in horrible mood swings.

Crapola-on-a-stick.

It was MY fault. Her awful mood was all my fault and I was the one that needed to be beat. By the time we figured out what was amiss it was too late to get a refill so she has to go all day tomorrow without it too. I wonder if I should warn her teachers??

While I was on the PMS accusatory train I told Dave he had PMS too. He ignored me and kept grouching about whatever it was he was grounching about. I warned him that he better get happy in his pants or I'd do something about it.

He never listens.

I had to panse him (is that what they call it when you run up behind someone and pull their pants down to their ankles??). He just laughed and then tickled me til I peed my pants a little (gosh I hate that).

That only left Brookie unharmed, but of course I managed to fix that. When I was washing her hair she said, "Ouch, your nails are scratching my scallop." Well I couldn't help it. I giggled. Then I told her the word was scalp.

She burst into tears and told me to stop making fun of her.

I swear I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I love it when she mixes words up. It is adorable and reminds me of my dad (and myself). I guess I was just full of mother grace and charm today.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go pull the covers over my head and wait for a new day and a another fresh start.

Washing Wishes (oh the shame)

Due to popular demand I am posting the children's book I tried to write.

Okay, a whoppin' two people asked to read it, but that's more demand that I've ever had before so I'm taking it! But first I thought I'd post some reviews...

Your book is really good Christy. I loved every word. I am forcing all my innocent bystanders of friends to read it.

- My Mom


This book is better than 99% of the children's books I've read. If you don't have it published I am paying to publish it myself.

- One of my best friends Donna


So as you can see from totally unbiased opinions it is really, really good. Now for the review of the publishers I sent my book to:

We are not accepting unsolicited transcripts at this time (translation-you stink).

-Numerous Publishing Houses


Now for the book (I am incredibly embarrassed right now for some reason...oh yeah, I remember why...it's because I STINK).

Washing Wishes

Beyond the rainbows and above the clouds, in the magical part of heaven where wishing stars are found, lived Barnaby, the tiniest star in the heavens. So small was he that even though he tried with all his might, he was not able to grant wishes. Oh how sad this made him! More than anything he wanted to help make dreams come true.

He hoped and prayed that one night when he woke after a good day’s sleep he would find that he had grown big enough and strong enough to have the wish granting power he longed for.

Often he would visit Gramstar, the wisest wishing star he knew, and talk to her about his problem. As they talked, they would sit together and watch the wishes float up from the world below and try to guess what was inside each wish. The wishes rose up like bubbles and reminded Barnaby of crystal balls that shined and glowed with hope as they searched for a wishing star to bring them to life.

“I think this one is for a bike,” said Barnaby one night as he plucked a wish from the sky beside them. He shook the wish gently and looked inside and saw a black and white puppy wagging its tail. “No, it’s for a puppy,” he said with a smile as he let the wish go. He watched as it floated to another wishing star and clapped merrily when the ball popped into a burst of sparkles and light because he knew that meant the wish had been granted.

When the next wish came by he pulled it from the sky and said with a teasing grin, “I think this one is for an elephant on ice skates.” He was still laughing when he looked inside, but he could see nothing but a foggy mist. He shook the wish slightly, but still nothing appeared. His smile faded away as he looked at Gramstar and said, “I think this one is broken.” She took it from him and peered deep inside and then sadly she said, “No Barnaby, it’s not broken, it’s dirty.”

“How does a wish get dirty Gramstar?” Barnaby asked in confusion. He had never heard of a dirty wish.

“When a wish is made from a heart filled with doubt, that doubt covers the wish’s hope in darkness. These are dirty wishes and they cannot be granted,” Gramstar said, sounding as sad as Barnaby felt.

Barnaby’s heart was heavy as he asked, “What happens to the dirty wishes?” He was almost afraid to hear the answer. What could be sadder than a wish not granted? “The dirty wishes are eventually weighed down by the doubt that fills them and they sink down to forever rest on the top of the clouds,” Gramstar replied.

Later that night as the sun began to rise and it was time for bed, Barnaby couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned in the sky as he thought about how many wishes must be trapped on the clouds wanting to be granted. He decided to go see for himself.

It was a long journey down to the cloud tops and Barnaby was very tired by the time he arrived. But he soon forgot all about his weariness when he saw all the dirty wishes before him. As far as the eye could see were clouds with wishes resting on them. Barnaby decided right then and there that something must be done to help them. His body might be small, but his heart was large and he was determined to come up with a plan to help the dirty wishes.

If only there was some way to magically wash the wishes, Barnaby thought to himself. Then they could float back up to the heavens and be granted. Suddenly Barnaby had an idea. Everyone knew that there was magic in the moonlight. What if he could wash the wishes in the moon’s magic beams? It might not work, but he was sure going to try!

A few night’s later when there was a full moon, Barnaby made the long trek to the cloud tops once again. This time he brought along a big bag that Gramstar had sewed for him. He filled it carefully with some of the dark and gloomy wishes and followed the moon’s beams to where they touched the ocean below. Once there he pulled out a wish and carefully dipped it into the wet moonbeams and then he gently scrubbed it. His eyes widened in surprised when he saw a pretty doll appear inside the wish and then he smiled because he knew his plan was working. He let the wish go and it floated toward the stars to fulfill its destiny.

Barnaby was so proud of his accomplishment! Even though he wasn’t big enough to grant wishes, he was still making a difference by helping wishes come true. He had never been happier than he was that night as he spent hour after hour washing wishes.

While he was washing his seventh bag of wishes he heard a splash behind him. When he turned to see what had made the noise he saw a small orange and white creature behind him. “What are you?” asked Barnaby in a nervous voice. “I’m a clown fish. My name is Gobbo,” replied the creature. “What are you?” the little fish asked. “I am a wishing star. My name is Barnaby,” Barnaby answered with surprise, he thought everyone knew what a wishing star was. “A wishing star, what’s that?” asked the tiny fish as he swam a little closer to Barnaby. “A wishing star is a star that lives in the heavens and grants wishes that are made on the earth below. Haven’t you ever wished on a star before?” He asked his new friend. “We can’t see the stars from deep in the ocean,” said Gobbo.

Gobbo stayed to help wash the wishes all through the night. They spent many happy hours talking. Barnaby told Gobbo of his dream to be able to grant wishes like all the other stars. Gobbo told Barnaby of his wish to be a real clown that could live among the land dwellers and make boys and girls laugh. As the night passed by they became fast friends. Barnaby was sad to head back to the heavens for he knew he would miss his new friend. Gobbo promised to return during the next full moon to help wash wishes again.

The months passed by and slowly the cloud tops were emptied of their doubt filled wishes as Barnaby and Gobbo washed each and every one. They had become the best of friends while they worked together side by side and Barnaby could see how very much Gobbo wanted to be a real clown. He wished there was some way he could help him.

One day Barnaby was summoned to appear before King North, the king of all the wishing stars. Barnaby had never been to visit the King before and he was very nervous. He couldn’t imagine what the King wanted with him, the tiniest star in the heavens. He wondered if the King had found out he was sneaking down to the ocean each month.


He hoped he wouldn’t be punished. Barnaby had to muster up all the courage inside his little star body to go and see the King.

“Barnaby,” boomed the King in a deep voice, “it has come to my attention that you have been traveling to the ocean during the full moon each month to wash the dirty wishes.”
Oh no, thought Barnaby, here it comes. I am in big trouble now. “Is this true?” asked King North? “Y-y-y-ess, King North,” stammered Barnaby. The next thing the King said startled Barnaby and filled his heart with joy. “I am very proud of you Barnaby. It is a very caring and selfless act you have been doing. I would like to reward your kind act with a wish. You may have anything your heart desires.”

Barnaby could not believe what he was hearing. He could use the wish to finally become the wishing star he’d always dreamed of being. He was so excited, but just before he told the King of his wish, he remembered Gobbo and his wish to become a real clown. Barnaby’s heart sank. If he wished to have the powers of a wishing star, then he could not wish for Gobbo to become a clown. He was torn between his own wish and his desire to grant Gobbo’s wish. Then Barnaby had an idea. “King North,” he said, “I wish to become a wishing starfish that lives in the ocean and grants the wishes of all the sea creatures that live there.”

And so it was.


Barnaby soon learned that there was a catfish who wanted to be a real cat and a tiger shark who wanted to be a real tiger. There was an angel fish who wanted to be a real angel and a sea horse that wanted to run in the Kentucky Derby. But before Barnaby granted any of their wishes there was one thing he had to do…

He turned Gobbo into a real clown.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Cuteness and Yumminess

My GT students are making their own sock puppets and writing puppet shows for the Pre-K class. They are doing a great job and we are having so much fun. I thought I'd show you a picture of the puppets that the Kindergarten through Second grade group made.

I think they turned out really cute!!



And while I am here I am going to post a recipe that Inspired asked for. It's one of my mom's specialites. It is the easiest recipe EVER and it is super yummy for your tummy. Enjoy!

Sopapilla Cheesecake Recipe


2 cans of crescent rolls
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 (8 oz.) packages cream cheese, softened
1 stick butter

Preheat oven to 350F. Press 1 can of crescent rolls into bottom of 9 X 13 inch pan. Mix cream cheese, 1 cup sugar and vanilla until creamy. Spread over rolls in pan. Cover with other can of rolls. Melt butter and stir in rest of sugar and cinnamon. Pour over top. Bake for 30 minutes. Can be served warm or room temperature.